A Christian Liberal is NOT an oxymoron.

Posted by XT on September 16th, 2008 in General

Dear Johnnie-boy:

Good Lord, it’s hot down here! I suppose I shouldn’t use the term “Good Lord”, but I think as long as I remain on this side of the Gates, I will be okay.

Jeff Skilling is standing just on the other side and he keeps saying he’ll double my pay if I go over to him. Don’t worry, boss – I’m Blackwater through and through and we don’t sell out. Well, at least not until we finish our assignment. Then it’s up to the highest bidder.

There’s a lot more traffic around here than I thought, which could make it more difficult to pull off the hit. But since you aren’t worried about secrecy, things are not nearly as tough as they could be. I’ve been interviewing people on the Road of Good Intentions, and most of them really don’t worry about seeing someone being offed. In fact, I’ve got several leads on further employment once I’m done with your “errand”.

Anyway, I’m on station and thought you should know it. Blackwater is on the job and we guarantee something close to satisfaction – or your money back.*

Your mercenary friend,

Tommy Ashcroft

* You should be aware that our policy reserves our right to slash your throat after returning your money – at which point we take it back again. The legal boys say I have to point that out whenever I voice our guarantee.

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