Leaving labels behind
Once John Edwards dropped out, the Democratic race became “the black guy” versus “the white woman”. At least for some people. I’ve posted some emails from NOW-NY that I have found particularly distasteful and my responses to them. In the process, I’ve opened myself up to criticisms of being mysogynistic or anti-feminist. Of course, the trap for white men is that if I’d broken the other way and been critical of Barack Obama then I’d be criticized for being racist or anti-black.
The problem with such attacks is that, if they are not responded to, then a person gives them legs by acquiescence. But if one does respond, then they generally end up sounding like a fool. “I’m not racist - I have black friends!” or “I’m not sexist - I love women!” There just isn’t really a response to those charges that doesn’t make it seem like denial is a comfortable bed in which one sleeps through life.
Part of the evidence that I am not racist can be found in how often I have brought up that topic and discussed how it hurts everyone involved. But I have rarely, if ever, brought up the problems associated with gender inequality. Does that mean I am less concerned about sexism than racism?
From my mind, the answer is a resounding no. I’ve always insisted that merit should be the defining rule of American society. The American Dream is not built on an easy life passed on because of birth or any physical characteristic that comes at birth. It is built on the idea that any person, if they work their tail off and manage their affairs competently, can have a better life. It is built on the idea that limitations based on where you were born or the color of your skin or the language of your childhood or the faith of your heart or gender just don’t matter and, to the extent that they exist, they exist to be exposed, ridiculed, shattered, and cast aside as evidence of previously generations’ foolishness.
While casting about the internet for inspiration, I came upon two offerings that stand head-and-shoulders above the rest. The first is Why I am Not a Feminist. The second is a response that questions Should men be called feminists? Until the last week or so, I would have dismissed these writings as so much navel-gazing or pondering how many angels can dance on a pin. As it is now, I think they serve as instructional offerings as to why labels are so dangerous, so unnecessary, and so painful.
I don’t consider myself an advocate for feminism or for black rights or gay rights or even workers’ rights. I consider myself an advocate for human rights and for the decency of considering all people truly equal in value and worth. I don’t think the terms have any real meaning in my frame of reference. When a person is denied their full dignity as a person in this society, it is my problem no matter if that person is female, black, hispanic, gay, unemployed, or whatever. It is my problem because this is a democratic and pluralistic society and we can’t move forward by leaving people behind. Just as it is my problem that this country has engaged in an immoral war that I don’t support, even though I never cast a vote in its favor, it is my problem when our society devalues someone.
But it is also my place to fight false outrage. Because I am worried about people achieving equality, and not with promoting one group or another, I cannot allow someone to claim that failure to vote for Hillary Clinton is de facto an anti-woman act. The idea that NOW is advancing that men such as Ted Kennedy - who just this past year re-introduced the Equal Rights Amendment - is somehow betraying women by supporting Barack Obama is just offensive. Rights are not zero-sum. I do not denigrate women by supporting Obama any more than I denigrate blacks by supporting Hillary. Some people may, it is true, but it is not true for all.
I rebelled against the society in which I was raised by insisting that the only thing that ever matters is how well a person can do the job they are hired to do. I fought for it as a supervisor in the Navy and I continue to fight for it today. Merit is the only yardstick that has ever mattered to me and the only one that ever will. As far as I’m concerned, character is a huge part of merit. If someone has the character to stand up to their friends and say, “What you’re doing is wrong.” - well, it matters a lot to me because I needed someone to do that for me so many times when no one would.
So forgive me if I don’t care if I am considered a feminist or pro-feminist. I find the exercise itself to be offensive and, quite frankly, to be a distraction from what is important. I am rejecting these labels because accepting them accepts a frame that says there should be a difference between us. I am rejecting these labels because they are crippling to anyone and everyone who uses them. As I said elsewhere recently, I’m a warrior for equality and I’m ready to plow over the top of anyone who stands in the way of that. I’m not interested in winning Mr. Congeniality. I’m interested in the truth and if that is offensive, then it isn’t my problem.
Update: CNN has a post that, I suppose, is suppose to make us think they are covering the issue.
